just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
