On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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