Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
