and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
