i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
