You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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