But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
