she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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