will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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