In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
