Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
