and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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