i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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