Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
