This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
