if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
