Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
