sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
