I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
