No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
