it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
