I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
