I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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