I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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