Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
