Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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