you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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