Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
