No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It was confusing and full of hummus
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
