What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
