Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
