I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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