:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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