She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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