I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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