Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
