i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
