I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
