...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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