Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
