My room smells like vodka and shame
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
