Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
