It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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