he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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