Pregnant stripper...not hot.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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