Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I love you. Go after that dick
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
