I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
