I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
