how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
