NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
