You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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